Mencari Erti Hidup - Hidup Untuk Mati

Aku menulis(type actually!) lagi. Seronok baca update Lyssa. Huahuahua. *gelak kaber2 jek kat opis, sbb baca time kat opis. Tak tunggu balik rumah, baca jek kat opis!*

Banyak benda berlaku (of course!). Tapi semuanya disimpan, konon nak luahkan kat blog, tapi tak terkuar (ke aku takut orang baca? :p *lambai2 bos*)

Hari tu aku close kejap blog aku ni, sbb sangatla terkejut bos aku jumpa blog aku! Hadoi! *lambai2 lagi bos*.
Before this, I thought my blog would never be read by others (except Lyssa :p), but somehow there is still a silent readers out there. *peace to all*
Then, suddenly I realized that, what had I written/typed wasn't 100% fully my life or thoughts or I'm just spill out randomly. Maybe 20-30% of it was still pure from bottom in my heart. I'm still keep in privacy. It isn't because I'm not sincere in my writings or thoughts, it's just some part should be keep in shut.

Ok, cakap pasal umur. Aku dah 25 tahun hokkay! *bahekkk*
Memikirkan masa depan sangatlaaaaa menakutkan. Banyak benda yg perlu difikirkan. Hidup, makan, minum, keje, berjalan, kawin blablabla. Kawin? Hmm.. Yela, kawin. Orang kan suka tanya, bila nak kawin? (aku pun suka tanya gak! :p)
So, pd umur 25 tahun ni, adalah umur yg mula memikirkan dgn serius pasal hidup. Bukanlah sblm ni tak fikir, fikir jugak, tp fikir jela, tindakan nya takde. Sbb masa tu fikir, diri ni masih muda belia remaja. *konon2la*. So, nanti2la fikir.
Skrg kena fikir & bertindak. Sometimes I lost in my own way when I'm thinking too hard about what will happen for 2-5 years later, what will it be? Will I be just the same as I am right now, especially in career future, doing the same job, and etc. If I'm married(Insya-ALLAH, the will is still there), can I fully support my childs in financial and moral as well? Like my mom done to me n siblings. What am I live for? Is it only for making money???
It's keep playing in my mind until I lost and cried for no reason.
Tapi bila fikir2kan balik, kita hidup ni utk ape? Selamanya ke? Tak... Kita hidup utk mati. Hidup adalah persediaan/bekalan utk mati. Harus seimbangkan segalanya. Tidak mengejar dunia semata. Hmm... Ini kerana aku telah habis baca novel hlovate yg bertajuk Contengan Jalanan. Kesimpulannya, hidup untuk mati. Ingat mati, sure kita boleh hidup punya! (Ni yang mmg aku pegang sejak dulu)

sekian.. Atika (Nov 2011)

p/s : Aku taip ni masa November 2011, skrg baru post :)